Three Years


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I was absently thinking about the word scrotum (okay, seriously, when will I ever get another chance to start a blog entry like that?) when this suddenly came back to me.
Bunny is an incredibly stubborn child. Moreso than your average kid. He is defiant and contrary and that’s just the way he is and nobody is gonna change him because they can’t because he’s the boss of himself, so there. When he was three, he was theoretically potty trained. As in, he was perfectly capable of knowing when he had to go, he would simply choose not to when he felt like it. When he did feel like going to the bathroom, he would insist on doing so in the most unique ways he could think of. For a while he would only go if he was straddling the toilet seat backwards. At one point, he insisted on peeing by laying across the toilet face down, so his penis was literally pointing straight down into the toilet bowl. And in moments when he was feeling particularly defiant, he would simply inform us that he was pooping or peeing in his pants, and then do exactly that.

Eventually, I learned to stop feeding the attention hoarding behavior of his and when he resorted to pooping as a control tactic, I would simply walk him to the bathroom, hand him a box of wipes and let him clean himself up. After he was through, I’d do a “heiner inspection” to make sure he was fully clean and we would go about our business, so to speak.
On one of these occasions, I was in the middle of something else when I realized that he was taking a rather long time in the bathroom. I poked my head in and asked what the hold up was, and he replied, altogether very chipperly “oh, nothing, I just have poop stuck under my scrotum.
Lovely.

I just talked to my mom today and I found out that Abuelito was recently sexually abused by a fourteen year old boy who was a friend of their family and who occasionally cared for him and his sister. I’m so angry at the world, I just don’t know what to do or how to feel. I’m furious and I don’t know who to be angry at. He’s only four years old! He’s a little boy and he doesn’t deserve this. Apparently it happened a few months ago but they just recently became aware of it when Abuelito acted out the molestation with another boy at his preschool. Because it occurred at school, CPS had to be called in and the police were in involved. The mother of the older boy, who committed the abuse was originally very cooperative but when Abuelito’s moms tried to talk to the boy and his father the family shut down and hired an attorney. The two families attend the same church and the churchmembers are angry with Abuelito’s parents for involving the authorities and supposedly blowing the situation out of proportion. And in the midst of all of this, are the two boys. Because as much as I want to be angry at the kid who did this to Abuelito, I know he’s suffering as well, and at some point he was probably a victim of abuse himself. My mom took care of Abuelito and Donna last night because their parents had some work thing to attend to and according her, Abuelito is very removed and he refused her help when getting ready for bed. My heart just breaks for him. He’s such a sweet, affectionate, loving little boy full of joy and enthusiasm and the fact that somebody took away his innocence just devastates me. I can’t even imagine what his moms are going through. They’ve been through so much as it is, but this is just so much more than any parent should ever have to deal with. I just … I’m so shocked, I can barely vocalize any of this. Kissing this boo boo just won’t cut it. It’s not fair. It’s just not fair.

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One day when Princess was around 25 months old and Bunny was 38 months old, the three of us were having one of our tandem babysitting days. Their mothers are good friends, as are they so that wasn’t uncommon back then. Princess toddled over to us from her room and very haughtily announced that she was “not a baby anymore!” because she was “two.” Bunny solemnly agreed and nodding his head adamantly announced, “You’re absolutely right, Princess. You’re NOT a baby anymore; you’re a little kid. Little kids’ aren’t babies. Me and Turtle, we’re big kids and you’re a little kid.” Princess smiled, glad that someone agreed with her and the two of them then sat down and continued playing. I nearly choked, trying not to laugh. Oh, Bunny. In what universe are a three year old and an adult equal and a two and three year old on separate levels? In Bunny’s universe of course. His illogical logic continues to astound, infuriate and tickle me to this day. But that’s par for the course in toddlerland where I’m always “wrong” and they “know everything.”