For starters let me just say that I’m well aware of how spoiled I am when it comes to human interaction. Whether it’s because of my face or my personality, I don’t know but people generally like me. In fact, I’ve become well-accustomed to being quite loved by most everyone. This is great for the most part except when it’s not. And when it’s not, is right now. Because for someone like me, who isn’t used to rejection, being rejected really sucks. A lot.
That being said, I was fired today. Fired. And one of the main reasons for this firing was what? Because Baroness Bomburst “didn’t get warm and fuzzies” from me. No. Seriously. She repeated that several times. Apparently we “just don’t connect.” That being said, the main reason for my firing was this. I used her computer. I used her computer when she wasn’t home to do the following: print coloring pages for Jeremy, the boy, check my e-mail, look something up on mapquest, and idly look at pictures of my Buddha that I had on Flickr. Now, as I told her, several times mind you, it was out of line for me not to ask. I will say that the former nanny had used it on several occasions and I hadn’t realized it was a big deal, however that’s no excuse. I definitely should have asked permission. In any event, that was “the straw that broke the camel’s back” apparently. Turns out that the computer usage, coupled with the lack of “warm and fuzzies” in addition to my supposed “lack of initiative” was enough to sack me after two weeks of working for them. The initiative thing really bugs me because damnit if I haven’t been trying as hard as I can to try and prove myself. I really truly, have. In any event, she’s “very disappointed” in me and my “performance” as the nanny which “is a shame because (she) had such high hopes for (me) especially with my background.” This mantra, too, was repeated several times. All in all, she basically kicked me in the teeth and told me that I should look for another job, “if (I) haven’t already started” which she assumed I already had. I also got the impression that this wasn’t a sudden decision. It seemed that she had been waiting, all week, for something concrete to be able to fire me. Otherwise she wouldn’t have withheld the expense check for the children, which I was supposed to have gotten at the beginning of the week. Anyway, I gave her my keys back and said goobye to the children. This is the part that really pissed me off. I went to hug Jemima and said goodbye, to which she responded “No, don’t leave. You can sleep downstairs.” This is the same child that I was accused of “not connecting with” which was yet another reason for the firing. I was lectured on Wednesday about my inability to connect with Gemima. But that’s a whole other bowl of bullshit. Jeremy tackled me when I kneeled down to say goobye and gave me a kiss as I left. They have no idea they’ll never see me again. I’m sorry for them because in the last two weeks that I’ve known them, they have been nothing but affectionate, bright, energetic, albeit spoiled children and they don’t deserve to be treated this way.
I hope she knows what she’s in for, taking responsibility for her own children like this. I’m not sure she knows what she’s getting herself into by raising them herself. It’s not as though she’s ever done it before.
In any event, I’m trying very hard not to take this personally. We didn’t connect and a few months down the road I may just have quit anyway, so maybe she did us both a favor. Still, it hurts a bit.
And finally, I have to wonder if Baron Bomurst’s friendliness towards me had anything do with this sudden firing. I think, in a way, it would hurt a little less to know that it wasn’t something I did wrong but, whatever. Either way it’s over. I have a lot of thinking to do this weekend. I don’t know if I want to go home or not. Man this growing up thing sucks.