When I tell people that I’m a nanny, they ususally ask me one of five or so questions. First, how much do I make? $10 an hour. Second, have I ever slept with any of the dads? Not yet. ; ) Third, am I crazy? Probably. Fourth, Is it fun? Absolutely. And fifth, how manky kids? Two dozen. No, I don’t nanny for the Duggars.I have a regular part-time, 30 hours a week job for one family with two children, but I also babysit for several different families, in addition to them. Over the past four years that I’ve been doing this, I’ve acquired apprx, a dozen families and two dozen children that I take care of regularly. Regularly, meaning, I see them at least once every month or two and have gotten to know them very well.
I organize them in my head in different ways. By gender. By age. By length of time I’ve known them. etc. Here is what I’ve come up with.

  • The Ones that Stole My HeartPrecocious Pipsqueak and her younger brother, Cherub. They are seven and five respectively and they are the first children I ever officially cared for on a continuous basis. Cherub’s recent fifth birthday marked four years that I’ve been caring for them.
  • The Mild Mannered Munchkins Thing 1 (Girl) and Thing 2 (Boy) They’re not twins, but are only 15 months apart and are the sweetest most docile pair I’ve ever met. They adore each other, rarely fight, and are ridiculously good-natured. If they weren’t so loving and doting, I might suspect them of being Children of the Damned. They are now five and almost four respectively and I’ve been taking care of them since Mrs. Stepford (their mother) was pregnant with Thing 2.
  • Yin & Yang Little Miss Motormouth and her younger brother Tender Tyke, couldn’t be more different if they tried. She is tiny with huge dark eyes and a shock of dark curls. He, is tall, blonde and blue eyed. She’s precocious and sassy, full of opinions and not afraid to voice them. He’s quiet and timid, ever the people pleaser, and oh-so-very senstive. They are five and three respectively and I’ve been taking care of them since Tyke was eight months old.
  • The Three MusketeersAthos, the big brother is intense, serious and focused. Porthos, the middle brother idolizes his big brother, is fairly easy-going and has quite a temper. And then there’s little Aramis. The golden child. The third and last. He was a welcome surprise and is incredibly wise for being 13 months old. He loves people and connects with everyone. They are five, three and one. I’ve been caring for them since Porthos was about ten months old.
  • Seditious SquirtsDennis the Menace and his little brother, the Tazmanian Devil have some of the most angelic faces ever. Big blue eyes and soft blonde hair and cute round cheeks but boy are they trouble makers. Dennis was walking at ten months and hasn’t taken a break since then. He can climb into anything, no matter how small or high up. He’s not intentionally contumacious, but boy is he a handful. His brother Taz is following in his big brother’s footseps. At twelve months and twelve lbs he can zoom around so fast, you’d think he was a super hero. Taking care of them is always an adventure in gravity defiance.
  • Princess – She’s three and a half, quiet, timid, shy but incredibly observant. She rarely talks to anyone but people she’s really close to but when she does talk, it’s usually very profound. And she hears everything. She and Bunny are good friends. I’ve been taking care of her since she was 18 months old.
  • The Only Child – Like Princess, Maddie (short for Madness) is an only child. Unlike Princess, she is spoiled beyond belief. She’s bossy and pushy and very vocal. She knows what she wants and intends to get it. If she weren’t six, I’d ask her for some tips.
  • Ragamuffin – Adopted from China at 15 months, this little one has been through quite a bit in her five years of life. Currently, her (single) mother is fighting brain cancer and it’s threatening to orphan the poor girl for the second time. Despite her severe abandonment issues, she’s made tremendous progress over the past four years and has developed into quite a little sassy individual. She loves Disney princesses and is a total girly girl.
  • The Endearing DivasMr. I and his baby brother Mr. J are two hilarious little dudes. At two and a half, Mr. I definitely inherited his mother’s dramatic flare. He’s little and squishy and so funny. Nothing is ever boring with him as he constantly adds spice to everything we do. His three month old brother is already showing signs of a similar personality.
  • Bilingual Babes – Super white, with blue and green eyes, respectively, it always cracks me up to hear them ask for “agua.” Abuelito at four is like a little old man: very quiet, soft-spoken and incredibly perceptive. Deep and thoughtful, he always keeps me on my toes. His sister, Prima Donna, is a firecracker. Loud and boisterous, at two, she is very clear about what she does and does no want. They are IVF babies and have two mommies. I’ve been taking care of them since Donna was six months old.
  • Struggling Rays of Sunshine – Unfortunately, I don’t spend as much time with these two as I used to. Champ is about to turn three and has been in and out of the hospital since the day he was born. He suffers from two incredibly rare genetic disorders which threaten to take his life at any time. His big sister, Bella is an incredibly beautiful little first grader who somehow manages to cope with her little brother’s illness as well as the fact that she gets shafted for attention. Despite the horrors that they’ve gone through, they manage to be two of the most affectionate loving children ever. I’ve taken care of them off and on since Champ was first receiving his diagnoses during his first year and I hope we have many more.
  • My Main MenBunny and Buddha. Mrs. Pinochet, their mother, poached me from Princess’ mother about two years ago. I’ve been with them ever since. At almost five, Bunny is more than a handful. He’s precocious and defiant and super spunky. He’s one of the most difficult and charming children I’ve ever met. His younger brother, Buddha is eight and a half months old and is just brimming with charisma. I’ve been with them through so much, their father says I’m like their third child. Ha. I spend the bulk of my time with these two little ones. I couldn’t love them more, if they were my own flesh and blood. Together, the three of us brave life and the trials and triumphs that it brings.
  • Miscellaneous Munchkins – I have several other children that I take care of, but since I don’t spend as much time with them, I’ll introduce them later, if the need arises.
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